Month: August 2017

Nanny Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

“I would like you to consider this my two week notice.” is not the message anyone wants to read from their brand new nanny.  “Wait, what?” was my initial reaction. Then, my thoughts rushed straight to my precious three children. I couldn’t believe it! My nanny, who had only worked for us for four days, quit. I knew she was struggling, because we had just spent forty-five minutes talking through the problems she had the first week and she quit two hours later in a text message. Her unseemly immature behavior of quitting via text message was a huge surprise to me because she is the same age as me. I had to look at the text message a few times before actually understanding it. At first glance, I thought it could have been a joke because we had left off on such a good note. Boy, was I wrong! My return to work after a yearlong maternity leave after the birth of my twins was just made ten times more difficult because my kids are now childcare-less!

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My strong willed seven year old!

I’m not even sure where to start when it comes to my second born. She has ALWAYS been, from birth until now, a very strong-willed beautiful little girl. She is very stubborn, tremendously strong minded and very LOUD! She has presented me and my husband with countless obstacles. We struggled with all of the discipline methods we have tried with her. One of our biggest difficulties with her is her attitude and her constant defiance of our rules. Practically everything I ask her to do I receive the response, “I don’t want to!” or “NO!” or “Why?” My husband and I also struggle with her defiant attitude. She constantly talks back to us with her sassy mouth. She has even resorted to yelling back at us, stomping to her room and slamming the door to try to get her way. UGH!!! Nothing has come easy with her!

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Fine Whine and Aged Cheese

I asked my fifteen and a half year old daughter what she thinks I should write about for my next blog. I know, I look too young to have a teenager, but I do and she is great! Her response went something like, “What about the time you gave me a jalapeño pepper instead of a pickle? Maybe you should write about the time you forgot to pick me up from Sunday school and left me at church? How about writing about when you left the windows open as we drove through the car wash? Remember when you gave me a mudslide instead of chocolate milk? I think the time you gave me frozen rum balls instead of Nestle Dibs would make a great blog too!”

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On the Eve of the End of my Maternity Leave

I write this with a full heart of crazy mixed feelings on the eve of the end of my maternity leave.  Tomorrow not only starts the beginning of the 2017-2018 school year for me, but my year long maternity leave also comes to an end. My twin daughters were born four weeks into last year’s school year after I was on hospital bed rest for a week. The three weeks I worked last year were a clouded spiral of the end of my twin pregnancy causing quite a blur in my memory. Although I actually had forty-nine weeks off, I like to say I took off the whole year. Where did this year go? How has it been forty-nine weeks since I stepped foot into my school?

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Back to school, Mother Chuggers!

It’s that time of year again, yippee!!! Back to school time in my household means complete chaos!! My teenager is already shouting, “Mom, I need a WHOLE new wardrobe!!!” I would love new clothes, but I’m too fat to buy clothes. So instead of new clothes for this mom, I wear black faded capris and moo moo dresses!! 😬 My kids suddenly have no socks, underwear, shoes or clothes. How in the hell did they survive all summer? Were my kids naked all summer long?

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Meet Me at a Garage Sale!

I heart garage sales and wine! I’ve never thrown my own garage sale, but love attending them. If I ever host a garage sale, I will not have my children selling lemonade like little cute suburban kids, but rather have my husband tending bar to attract customers. Can you imagine a garage sale with gin and wine flowing? Awesome, right? On second thought, I would most likely be the one consuming the booze and would be giving away my kids’ old clothes like they were poker chips after a bad night on Fremont Street just to get rid of them.

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Toddler and Dog for Sale

Tonight, my toddler, aka Norbert, decided it was okay to go potty in a USPS box that was going to be mailed to a customer. There was no way my costumer ordered a box of pee with her shirt! My easy clean up solution was to throw everything in the tub while I mopped the floor. This was definitely the wrong solution. I learned quickly to never leave my kid in the tub unsupervised. Not only could she have drowned, but other messy things could happen in tub. Something did happen: POOP!  If you haven’t fished out floating poop from the tub, you are really missing out! Quickly, I got her out of the tub and “Oh shit!” I forgot to put a diaper on her! It was too late; Norbert just peed on the couch! WTF did this kid drink today?!

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